A Really Awful Parody Of Degrassi
by karmakaze
Summary: If you really love the show, and will blow up if anyone makes fun of the characters, don't read this!!!! If you do, and you want to flame me for defacement of Degrassi Characters, have fun, but don't blame me for it:)
1. The Horror

Degrassi Story

I don't own any of these characters.

            Some guy likes this girl, and every time he sees her he sort of clams up, but then she finally noticed him.  She had been all alone that year, because one of those types of people who is smart, (unlike anyone else on this show), selfish, and stuck up and just so happens to only deserve one thing, a mirror, dumped her.  Meanwhile, this lovely new couple kisses in the hallway, and *gasp* some evil prep sees them and gets really hurt.  Then the guy looks at her like **_WHAT HAVE I DONE????????????????????_**

            Then, he goes home, and his father beats him up.  "Stop that!" he said.

            "You know what?" the father asked.  "I've just realized that I'm a bad father and should stop that."

            Then they share a moment.  Awwww.  But still, you should be feeling sorry for that girl who liked that guy who was going out with that other girl who happens to be her best friend, but also she's stuck up.

            This is getting really dramatic, but now we need to go to a commercial to find out about how Ken's disorganized locker doesn't come from a lack of care for school, because the voice knows a lot of kids who care greatly for school, but their stuff's just a God awful mess.  Then we have to find out how the guy with the potato sack on his head would ask a girl on a date.

…………………….To Be Continued, Whether You Like It Or Not……………………

P.S.  I wanna **_BE_** Jimmy! 


	2. The Drama Unfolds

                                                                        Degrassi Chapter Two

            Although Craig likes Emma, Craig can't go out with Emma, she always has to be right.  I don't know why he can't ask Liberty out.  Liberty is mad hot.  Yeah, maybe if she stopped trying to show how much smarter she is than everybody else.  Now Manny, she's smart _and _sweet.  Well, maybe Toby could ask her out.  Toby's gotten like, super cute.  Toby really needs to grow a backbone and ask someone out.  _Anyone_!  Meanwhile, a horrifying drama unfolds as some girl has the life or death decision to wear the butterfly clips or not to wear them.

            Da duh da duh da.  Commercial time!!!  I know that this girl with the butterfly clip's life is on hold, but we need to find out about how some kids doooouhg sometoooimes cheers her up, and how a wonderfully girl with an overbite the size of Texas gets along with her brother.  But before this fascinating endeavor ends, let's take into consideration whether or not those people are getting back together again.  There's only one answer to this question.  "Absoowluuuuuuuuuutelllllllllllllllllllly nouwwwt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            Also, do you think it's Eve, or es da howel wuld gown mayud?  Also since I'm sure you've been tensely awaiting this one question all day, I'll give you the answer right now before you go crazy waiting.  JUSTIN SHAVED HIS LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            But you can't blame Justin for that, because he did it so he could swim faster!  The pros _all _do it!  Naw, man.  Justin's right.  Some swimmers _do _shave their legs.  LIKE his _seeeuster_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            To be continued whether you hate me to the point that you have thrown darts at my name, flamed me, hated me, tried to throw rocks at your computer, or not.  If that's what you did, it's your own choice, soJ until next time!  


	3. Behind the Scenes

                                                Degrassi, Chapter Three

            The N has become well aware that no one is really interested in actually _sitting _there and actually _watching the shows_, so Daria, Degrassi, 24-Seven, and Being Eve will be interrupted for a special full hour of commercials.  Oh, by the way, don't groan.  This is _REAL LIFE NOW!!!!!!!!_  Did that change your opinion???  I thought so.

            Now, the N is going to go to schools around the globe, and find twenty of the ugliest, geekiest, most annoying teenagers alive so that they won't make you feel bad about your own looks.

            Let's take a behind the scenes look at a day in the lives of commercial extras.

            Boy with potato sack on head sits down at the table next to fish girl, who might eat him if he doesn't show any indication of being alive in the next two minutes.  "So, you've ever been out on a date, you is lookin' real pretty duday, all right gal?"

            Obviously the potato sack is stopping brainwaves from traveling to this guy's head, but let's go on.  "Nah," she says.  "I go out with my doouhoouug sometooooimes, but you just aint as speeeeeuchul."

            "Well," a squeaky-voiced guy with a neck longer than the Nile River said, "I don't see the problem, Olga.  I mean; he was sincere about it, so it didn't sound like something stupid.  What's the matter?"

            "Are yuh gunna eeeeyut thayut?" she asks, grabbing his school notebook and wolfing it down.

            "Well, you know, me not being like, macho, or anything, I'd just not eat his binder," a girl with braces said.

            "Well, I kinda would have," another girl said, "Cuz I'm pretty upfront like that, you know."

            "Well, since she was _sincere _about eating my binder, it didn't look stupid, so I'm not angry or anything," the giraffe boy said.

            The girl let out an uproaring burp, and his favorite pencil came out.  "Do _you _think she should have eaten his binder?" the only halfway decent kid there asked.

            "Ahum not answering, _HEEEE HEEEE HEEEE, _ahum not answering, _HUH HUH HEEEUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_" a compulsive boy who needs serious medication.

            Can you relate?  This really is just like real life, isn't it?


	4. New Kids

Degrassi, Part 4

Now, since everyone admires the glamour, beauty, poise, and overall acting talent of the commercial geeks, we've decided that they would be really good on the set of Degrassi!

            Paige sat at her lunch table, surrounded by friends, as the sound of the first bell rang.  The new girl, I'll just name her Olga, sat at the table, staring at her dreamily. 

            "Duh, muybe if ah wanna be popular, I'll have to hang out with hoooour sometoooime," Olga said.  "But what would my doouhg waunt me ta doo?"

            Poor, unsuspecting Paige had no idea that in two seconds she would embark on the worst conversation of her life.  As she got up, to empty her tray, she crashed into something huge.  Was it a boulder?  A car?  The moon?  An ape?  A hot air balloon?  No, it was just the new kid, Olga.

            "Am soooruy," she said geekily.  "So, you wanna haaung sometooooime?" she asked.

            "Could you just go back to whatever geek group you're representing, and just leave me alone?" Paige asked.

            "Buh no, wait," she said.  "I gotta show you mah talent!" she yelled like a goon.

            "What talent?  Like, how fast you can eat?" Paige asked.

            "Yo, are youh goanna eaut thayut?" Olga asked, pulling out Paige's hair scrunchi, and eating it.

            "You're so going to pay for that!" Paige exclaimed.

            As she walked down the hallway, trying to catch up with one of her friends, Paige had only one thought on her mind.  I am so glad that is over.  But my SCRUNCHI!

            Just then, the infamous boy with the potato sack on his head walked up to her, followed by the other boy who's neck made him look like a giraffe, and their medication deprived idiot friend.

            "Hah," the boy with the potato sack on his head, appropriately named, Boy with the potato sack on his head said.  "Yo lukin real prettuh today.  Wanna go out on a date?"

            "Ugh!  Get out of my life, and go date that Olga loser!" Paige said, disgusted.

            Poor Paige.  "Well," Girraffe Neck said.  "Since he was _sincere _about it, it didn't sound like something stupid.  So, why don't you give him a chance?"

            Paige started getting very nervous, and rushed to the bathroom to hide, but much to her dismay, she crashed into another new girl.  "Hay!  My name is Bertha, and I think whauy'll get along WANDERFLEEE!"

            "Uh, no, we won't!" Paige said.  As she turned around to leave, she was greeted by the strapping young African boy with an enormous overbite that he could use on an Archaeological Dig.  

            "What made you decide to come into the girl's bathroom?" Paige asked.

            "Well, I mean, wandering around bothering people is no big deal, uh mean, just be caaaaalm, and just doo it!"

            "WHY ARE ALL THESE IDIOTS FOLLOWING ME????!!!!!!!!!!!" Paige demanded, running out of the bathroom.  "I am dreaming, I am dreaming, I am dreaming, I am dreaming!"

            Later that day, in a daze, Paige decided to try out for cheerleading again, for an extra support group.  Standing there waiting, she saw all of the cheerleaders putting on makeup, and talking about boys.  "Ah," she said.  "Safety."

            "HUIY, PAAAIGE!!!" Olga said; running in and flapping her arms around wildly like a nutcase.

            "Um, Paige?" a cheerleader asked.  "Is that like, a _friend _of yours or something?"

            "No," Paige said.  "I've never seen this _geek _before in my life."

            "What is she doing here, anyway?" another cheerleader wanted to know.

            "Muy dooouhg sometooimes tells me that ooid made a guud cheeurleader, so ah thoowut ahd trooooy oot," Olga said.

            "Your dog must be one heck of an idiot then," the cheerleader said.

            "You talk to your dog?" Paige asked in disbelief.

            "Yuuh."

            "Okay, just let her tryout, so she can _leave_!" someone said.

            "Ohkay!" Olga yelled, grabbing the pompoms.

            "Yooiy Dugwassi, yaaaaaaay!!!!" she yelled, jumping up and down crazily, landing on the floor with a thud, and breaking the floor.

            "She's destroying the Gym!" someone shrieked.

            "We have to stop her!" a person trying out who was getting trampled by Olga screamed.  "Paige, do something!"

            She pulled the fire alarm, and ran.  "I just want to get out of here!"

            When she finally got home, and shut the door, panting, Paige's mother greeted her.  "You would _not _believe the day I had!" Paige exclaimed.

            "Oh, honey, I forgot to tell you.  We're having a few guests over tonight from your school.  They'll be staying here until someone is crazy enough to take them in."

            With that, every one of the characters from the commercials waved.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Paige yelled.  "Oh, God!  What did I ever do wrong??????"

            Okay, I have to stop now before I go insane.  I feel slightly sorry for Paige.  And if I misrepresented her in any way, I'm sorry.  I haven't really seen a whole lot of Degrassi episodes yet, but I've watched it a few times, and I know the N well.


	5. Emma is Kidnapped

            Emma thought that life was horrible enough, having Mr. Simpson around, dating her mother, but guess what happens next!

            "Emma, I heard about what happened between you and Craig, and him ditching you for Manny, and I know how upset you must be, so I brought you a favor," Mr. Simpson said cheerfully.

            "MOM!  Why did you tell him about Craig?  My life is ruined!  I hate you!" Emma exclaimed.

            "Well, once you meet the young man I brought you, you'll be thinking, Craig who!" Mr. Simpson said proudly, bringing the boy with the potato sack on his head into the room.

            "Hah, yo lookin' reul predduh duday, wanna go aout owun a dayut?" he asked stupidly.

            "You couldn't get a date with _Olga_!" Emma shrieked.  "She'd _eat _your potato sack first!"

            "Now Emma, that's no way to treat guests," her mother, who looks about 19 said.

            "Weyul, actually I dated her dog, but Olga didn't like that much!" he said geekishly.

            "Get me out of here!" she screamed.

            "This is an argument," he said.  "And I like to stay the good guy in arguments!"

            As Emma ran out of the house, she was grabbed by a very large object.  "OLGA!" she screamed.  "You scared me!"

            "You're so sweet!" Olga said.  "But you're not one of us yet!  You aurnt as sweet as my dooouhg sometooimes is!"

            All of the commercial kids grabbed poor Emma kicking and screaming to their secret laboratory, and put sticky electrodes on her head.  "This will make you grow buckteeth, get a strange accent, and giggle every other word," Olga said.  "Then you can be our friend."

            "Yay!" someone else said.

            "Craig, save me!" she screamed.

            Just then, the guy with the potato sack ran in.  "Emma, I'll save you!  But you have to kiss me first!"

            "Trooihy thayut and ahul seet on yeeu," Olga screamed to potato sack boy.

            "But my love for Emma is so strong that…" he said.

            Squish.  "A SOLAR ECLIPSE!" he screamed.  "MY LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE MY EYES!!!!"

            "You killed my boyfriend!" a girl with a giraffe neck screamed.

            "At least your boyfriend didn't start feeling woozy and end up in the girl's room!" someone said.

            Can you relate?

            "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!" Emma shrieked.

            Who should come to her rescue?  Or should they?  P.S.  I think Emma is okay, but this is a parody, so I may have her personality off a bit.

P.S. Kate's locker really gives me this sort of holiday voodoo vibe, how about you?  Oh, and avatars are cute, fine, and they speak their minds.

JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Is anyone smart enough to figure out how...

Okay, I know that I left the chapter at a really tight spot.  Will anyone save Emma from her impending doom of geekdom?  Will Paige survive the visit?  Is Emma's mother more than five years older than she is?  Are we looking at a new Eve?  Is she the type of Eve who's unpredictable who takes risks?  Am I allergic to cheese?

            Okay, let's find out the answers to these questions you must obviously have been worrying about all day long, by starting with Spinner's day.  This is not Spinner's normal attitude, (I hope,) but who cares!

            Spinner and Jimmy were walking down the street.  "Ew, Spinner!"

            "Sorry, walking down the street makes me fart!" Spinner said.

            "That's okay," Jimmy said.  They turned a corner.

            "_Spinner_," Jimmy said.

            "Sorry, turning corners makes me fart," Spinner said.

            "That's okay," Jimmy said.  "Just don't do it again."  Then the two boys saw Ashley.

            "Hi, Ashley!" Jimmy said.

            "**SPINNER!!" **they both yelled.

            "Sorry, you saying hi to Ashley makes me fart," Spinner said.

            "Have you heard what happened?" Ashley asked.  "No, wait, I've got a new look, and so I've gone from prep to Goth in a day, which obviously makes me a poser, so I don't care what happens, I'm trying to find a dirty look that I can use."

            "What, does going from prep to Goth in a day make you fart too?" Jimmy asked.

            "No, just posers," Spinner said.  "Posers make me fart."

            "I see," Jimmy said.  "Don't you guys think we should save Emma and Paige from the commercial pals?"

            "Who?" Ashley asked.

            "From Olga?" Jimmy asked.

            "I'm not going," Spinner said.  "Olga will make me fart."

            "Stay then!" Jimmy said.

            Meanwhile, Craig's dad was walking down the street, getting really angry, and having a tantrum about the fact that his haircut made him look bald, despite the fact that he's _been _bald, for like, his whole life.  Also, this was the time that Olga was hunting for more potential commercial geeks, and crashed straight into him.

            "************ ********* ******* ***** ***** *** ******!!!!!!!!!!  WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS OKAY TO CRASH INTO ME???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.

            "My doouhg sometoooimes," Olga said.

            "YOU TELL THIS DOG HE'LL BE SPEAKING TO MY ****** **** **** *** ****** ***** **** **** **** **** ***** ******* ******** ***** ***** ******* LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

            Emma was meanwhile begging and pleading for help.  "I'M BEGGING AND PLEADING FOR HELP!!!!!" she screamed.

            "Shut up!  At least Olga didn't tear your fake nails off and use them as a snack," Paige said bitterly.

            Emma was very upset.  "I'M VERY UPSET!!!!!" she screamed.

            It was very unfortunate, right then, that the torturer had arrived.  It was that guy with the really long neck.  Remember him.  "Paige, tell us where you hide your lip gloss, or we'll have to torture you!"

            "NO!  YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY LIP GLOSS ALIVE!!!!!!!" Paige screamed.

            "Okay, I guess we'll have to torture you then," he said.

            "Paige, just tell him!" Emma said.  "Do you want Olga to sit on you?"

            "Actually, I have another idea," he said.  He pulled out a pair of scissors, some snot green hair gel, and some clown makeup.  "You need a new look."         

            Paige let out a horrible scream, and Emma suddenly felt her world go black.  She wasn't dead, but the scream had knocked out most of her senses, and she was unable to do much, except scream, adding to the noise.

            Being used to listening to themselves talk, the commercial kids have a very acute pain and annoyance tolerance.  Therefore, the boy was not harmed.  He took the front lock on the left of Paige's hair, and pretty much cut it completely off, leaving her a huge bald spot.  With the little bit of hair left, quite close to the scalp, he put in the puke green hair gel, and spiked it.  Paige screamed so loud, that she completely went mute, well, for now, until I get bored with that idea.  Sorry Paige.  Next, the boy took another lock of her hair, and cut half of it off, and curled it up in a strange, wave-like thing.  Eventually, spikes, waves, bald spots, knots, and greenness covered her head.  

            "Well, since I was sincere about making Paige look like an idiot, it doesn't seem like something stupid," the boy said idiotically.

            Paige, unable to scream, worried about what would happen to her next.  He started smearing blush all over her face, at odd angles, and eye shadow all the way up to her eyebrows, the lipstick being much worse.

            Note, I have no animosity towards Paige, I just feel like picking on someone, and it's Paige's lucky day!

            Suddenly, some person I don't care about ran into the room.  "It's terrible, just terrible, you have to take us seriously," someone said.

            "I do?" the boy asked.

            "Yes.  It's Chris from 24-Seven (owned by the N).  He's a juhnawist.  He's a fully fledged juhnawist!!!!!" 

            "You think that's serious?" the boy asked.  "Wait until you find out the shocking truth.  He neautised!  He fooinallwy naeautised Eve, (the N owns Being Eve)!  And that's not the worst of it.  MANNY MOHAWK JUST SPOKE TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!  (Manny Mohawk, or whatever owns himself.)


End file.
